


Fly Like A Cannonball

by bluegeekEM



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hope, Leadership, Loyalty, MayThe4th Treat, Poe Dameron has no self-preservation instinct, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23865424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegeekEM/pseuds/bluegeekEM
Summary: Poe can't stop on his own.  Or perhapswon't.  Either way, it'll take outside forces to ground him, in more ways than one.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Leia Organa
Comments: 12
Kudos: 33
Collections: May the 4th Be With You Star Wars Fanworks Exchange 2020





	Fly Like A Cannonball

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosecake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosecake/gifts).



> The title is from "Fall on Me" by Andrea Boccelli & Matteo Boccelli
> 
> Fly like a cannonball, straight to my soul  
> Tear me to pieces and make me feel whole  
> I'm willing to fight for it and carry this weight  
> But with every step I keep questioning what is true  
> 

Poe should have been more suspicious when he’d noted BB-8’s absence from his side after their last three missions, but he’d chalked it up to the droid missing Rey while they were out on increasingly frequent recruitment and intel assignments. In the field, they’d managed a loose sort of custody arrangement based on where the little droid’s skills could best be utilized. Free days were spent with BB-8 flitting back and forth at will between whichever of “his” humans was on base.

He did _not_ anticipate the little snitch reporting on him to the higher-ups.

**

“C’mon, BB-8, get your roll on, we’ve gotta be airborne in twenty.”

“Hold on a moment, Commander.” The voice, coming from near a shadowed console to his left, caused Poe to jump noticeably. He whipped around to find General Organa observing him with her too-sharp eyes and Lieutenant Connix looking between them both. 

He hadn’t noticed anyone approaching that close to him, which didn’t bode well for his situational awareness in the field today. If BB-8 would hurry up and start the preflight procedures, he might have enough time to grab a cup of caf or restock the small supply of stims he’d taken to storing in his mission go-bag.

“I’ve always got a moment for you, General, but only just - I’ve got a mission.” Poe straightened his posture and tried to project an air of confidence.

“Actually, Dameron, you don’t.” Leia’s voice, laced with her typical quiet composure, held no hope of argument.

Which isn’t to say that Poe wouldn’t try.

“Uhhh, according to the flight manifest from this morning I do, General.” He’d approved the final schedule himself, shifting assignments around to ensure that he’d be the point-person for the highest-risk of the day’s operations.

Connix handed Poe her datapad open to the day’s mission list. “I think you’ll find that those have been updated, Commander. Captain Wexley will now be leading that mission.”

Poe pressed his lips together as he read the updated orders. He didn’t bother to scroll through the list looking for his own name. If they’d taken the time to ambush him like this he was certain he wouldn’t find it anywhere on the screen.

“Is there a reason for the change in plans, General?” Poe knew he wouldn’t _like_ the answer, but he felt compelled to ask anyways.

“It seems you’ve been running yourself ragged, Commander, and have been ignoring your recommended downtime schedule.” 

Poe, about to deny the ‘ragged’ claim, forced himself to bite back his words. He could hardly refute the second half of Leia’s claim given that a single glance at his mission schedule over the previous weeks would blow any denials he made out of the sky. A glance at Connix showed her hands flying over the datapad, likely accessing said schedule, just in case Poe was foolish enough to try anyways.

Poe turned and narrowed his eyes at BB-8, who rolled back several feet in response.

“Did you rat me out, BB-8?” His words were deliberately light, though he doubted anyone in the room, including his droid, would be fooled.

BB-8 responded with the droid equivalent of blowing him a raspberry, only ruder.

“BB-8 is looking out for your wellbeing, Poe. As are your friends and squadmates who have been keeping an eye on you as well.”

So, BB-8 wasn’t acting alone, then. Poe’s hands curled into fists in frustration.

“Is this an intervention, General?”

“Does it need to be, Poe?”

Poe sighed and attempted a different tactic. “General, the intelligence and recruitment missions are important. We took so many losses-” 

Damnit, Poe’s voice cracked on that last word, and he _knew_ Leia heard it, but he pushed ahead anyways. “We need to maintain as much momentum as we can-”

“And we will, Poe,” Leia interrupted. “But you are not the only person here who can fly their way out of danger, nor the only one with the charisma and command to fill the ranks. You’ve been running on fumes since your mission to Ikkruk, and while I acknowledge that your intervention worked, it also means that with Black Squadron back with us, we have the ability to rotate mission-leads more.”

“There’s so much still to do.” _There’s so much I need to make up for._

“And we’ll do it, _together_. But _you_ won’t be doing anything off this base in the next four days unless we need to evacuate.”

Leia cut off Poe’s last grim attempts at protest with a raised eyebrow, positively _daring_ him to continue arguing with her.

When he didn’t, she offered him a somber half-smile and raised her hand to his arm, her grip solid and anchoring him to the ground more effectively than any order.

“Poe, I will not lose you to a lack of self-preservation fueled by guilt and exhaustion. We’re all suffering from the losses surrounding the battle of Crait, but we can’t let that alone define us. You cannot punish yourself forever for decisions you made in extreme circumstances. Living with those decisions is punishment enough, trust me.”

Poe felt her words cut through him, more devastating than any blaster-bolt. If anyone would know how to keep going, keep giving, despite a lifetime of pain and regrets, it was Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan and General of the Resistance. 

And if she was giving him permission to be tired and spent and insecure...

Poe sagged, curling ever-so-slightly around the invisible wound that had been there since he’d watched ship after ship being picked off by First Order fire.

Leia stepped in closer to his slumped form, the hand on his arm sliding around to his back and offering her support, half prop and half embrace.

In his periphery, Poe noted Connix stepping away, her eyes firmly on the datapad in front of her. He indulged in this moment, this chance to share his burdens with someone who already held the hope of a galaxy on her shoulders, and yet was willing to extend that strength to him as well.

His chest was tight and breathing slightly ragged when he loosened his hold and finally stepped away, but pulled himself together into a semblance of attention. “General.”

Leia smiled at him indulgently and allowed him to return to the safety of formality. “So, four days of rest and recovery time, minimum, _not_ spent in the hangers, mind you, and I expect us to have at least one long talk before I authorize your return to active status. Is that understood, Commander?”

“Yes, General.”

Poe turned to make his way back to his quarters.

“Take some of that time to contact your father and reconnect with your friends, will you?” Leia called after him. “It helps to remind yourself why we’re here and who were risking this all for.”

Poe nodded. He knew his voice wouldn’t be steady, but replied anyways. “Yes, General.”

**Author's Note:**

> This treat was created for rosecake and their inspiring Dear Yoda letter. 
> 
> In this story, I took the prompts of 'missing scenes from the movies the gap between TLJ and TRS' and 'his completely OTT devotion to Leia and the Resistance' and ran with them. I hope this is to your liking, rosecake!


End file.
